I am here to attempt to convince you to read a book.

This book is for you if you:

  • Are burned out
  • Are stressed
  • Keep feeling stressed
  • Are burned out…you get the point.

I started reading this book while running my Simple Self Love for Overdoers, Overgivers, and Overachievers group. (Spoiler alert…It was more than I hoped it would be, so I’ll be running it again in June.  Stay tuned for further info.)

I shared it with the women in the group, I shared it with all of my clients, my therapy friends, anyone who would let me talk to them.  That’s how important and helpful this book is.

Now I’m sharing it with you!  It is…

Burnout:  The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski.

If you like podcasts, listen to Brene Brown’s Dare to Lead on Spotify on 3/22/21.  Brene LOVES this book and Emily and Amelia.  As do I.

While this book has tons of fascinating and useful information, the concept that stuck with me the most, and that I now try to do every day is to complete the stress cycle.

What do they mean by that?

They talk about the difference between dealing with the stressor and dealing with the stress.  Even when we solve a problem we are facing (like me trying to figure out why I can’t friggin’ access my e-mail…It doesn’t mean we have finished with the stress.

As they say…the body speaks in body language.  Just because our mind is done with something, it doesn’t mean our body feels safe to let the stress go.

It takes us giving our body the signal that we are safe for our body to complete the stress cycle…ie. To stop feeling tense, have raised blood pressure, increased cortisol, etc.

They list several ways.  I won’t go into them all here, because I REALLY want you to read the book.  But the easiest one is to tense and release your muscles.

The one that is not in the book but that I share with my clients is to shake all over like a wild animal after it is done being chased and is safe.  Try it for a minute or two and see how much more relaxed you feel.

Now that I completed this, I am off to dance, my favorite way to complete the stress cycle!

If you find this Love Note helpful, please share it with a friend, especially a woman friend.  I wish every woman could read it.

Take care,

Dr. Jane Tornatore

I’d love to hear from you! You can contact me at Hello@EveryDayLove.me