Love Notes

Are you used to overriding your needs—pushing yourself to the limit until exhaustion hits? If you’re like most women, the answer is probably yes.

We’ve been conditioned to put others first, to keep going no matter how tired we are, and to ignore the subtle (or not-so-subtle) signs that our bodies are begging us to slow down.

But what if you started asking yourself a simple question every day?

“What do I need right now?”
Or:

• “What does my body want today?”

• “What do I need in this moment?”

Even if you ca…

Have you ever said “yes” when you really wanted to say “no” – only to feel exhausted, frustrated, or resentful later? You’re not alone, and it doesn’t have to be this way.

I’m inviting you to join me for a FREE live workshop where I’ll show you exactly how to set boundaries with confidence and without guilt.

Stop Saying 'Yes' When You Mean 'No': Three Steps to Boundaries Without Guilt
When: February 12, 2024, at 10 AM PST
Where: Zoom
Cost: FREE!

Reserve Your Spot Here

During this one-hour workshop, you…

Do you struggle with saying no because it creates guilt, fear, or the worry that someone will get mad, sad, or even angry? It’s no wonder saying no can feel so hard when it’s tangled up with those negative associations.

But what if saying no could feel good? What if it could even make you giggle?

I shared a simple exercise in this recent video that can help you start reshaping the way you feel about saying no. 

Here’s how it works:

One person asks a question—any question. It could be as silly as, “C…

Have you ever said no to someone and immediately worried about their reaction? Maybe you’ve thought, “They’ll get mad, and I don’t want to deal with that.” If so, I want to share something that might help you feel less anxious the next time you need to set a boundary.

When people get upset after hearing no, it’s not necessarily about you—it’s about their brain.

Here’s the deal: our brains love patterns and predictability. When we say no and change the rules, their brain has to adjust. Suddenly, th…

I’ve gotten out of the habit of posting blogs and instead have decided to be more interactive by posting TikTok content. I’d love for you to join me there! @drjanetornatore

https://www.tiktok.com/@drjanetornatore

Hello, 

If you're like me, maybe you have a history of feeling a feeling and then immediately REPRESSING it. Maybe you feel anger, annoyance, but swallow your reaction and give a tight smile.

We know a lot of anger stems from fear, a lot of annoyance from anxiety, and a lot of tight lipped smiles from the feeling of not being free to be honest. So what happens to those repressed emotions? Well, they get stored for later expression.  Repressing them doesn't make them go away.  I know...it's a suc…

Hello,

Human emotions are powerful and often deeply connected to our personal experiences and memories. Our bodies hold onto our feelings until we are able to express them. Sometimes we can tap into physical sensations to notice stored feelings.

Do some conversations leave you feeling icky?
Do certain people make you feel like running away?
Do particular subjects make certain muscles tight?
Do you notice your jaw clamp shut or your leg shake when old arguments arise?

Our feelings often stay with us,…

Hello, 

Everything is practice.

Anytime we're building any new habit, it's just practice. It's creating. We are literally creating the neural pathways in our brain for this new way of thinking or a new way of being.

Every time we practice our new habit, we give ourselves the message "well I survived again" "this is what I want" "that went well" or "I'm getting the results I want" and we end up building more and more trust in our new habit and our ability to create it.

The next layer is--once we'…

Hello,

Mirrors are a perfectionist’s enemy. We look at it and we critique ourselves. We see what is wrong. 

I went to retreat for eight days where one of my goals was to embrace my beauty as I age. What happened was, for eight days, I barely looked in the mirror while I was there, but the rest of the time my reflection was given to me through the other participants who reflected my beauty, who reflected how much they appreciated me, who reflected how awesome they thought I was. 

And I felt so…

Hello,

I like to share books that support my growth and/or rock my world.  And Bethany is another friend's work I want to share in honor of my birthday month.  In fact, today is my birthday.  I am 61!  Woohoo!

Here is what I read in Bethany Clemenson’s book Ditching the Dream:  How to Live Life on Your Terms that clinched my decision to share it with you:

“Societally, we aren’t taught to trust ourselves.  We are taught to conform and be logical and realistic.  

• Stand in line
• Learn the way…