Hello,

I think kindness is one of the most powerful forces in the universe.  It multiplies in magical ways.

I was recently telling a client about a study which found that the two biggest factors in client success in therapy are: 

• the therapist’s kindness toward themselves, and
• the therapist’s willingness to be wrong. 

At first, I was stunned by that—it wasn’t anything about clients that determined success, it was therapist’s kindness and openness (and I would wager, self-compassion) that contributed to positive outcomes in therapy. 

Then I realized it made complete sense.  When we are kind to ourselves, we naturally pass kindness on to others.

After I told my client this finding, he shared a story…

He was at his favorite restaurant, sitting at his usual space at the bar, so he can connect with the staff as they pick up orders.  He had recently lost his wife, and the staff had gone out of their way to show kindness and caring. 

That day he heard the staff saying the owner was in the restaurant.  He asked where the owner was sitting, then walked up to the owner and told him just how special the staff at the restaurant were. 

That’s nice in and of itself.  Right?

The magical part is ALL the people that were touched by that kindness.  He was nurtured by the staff’s kindness and he wanted the owner to know, the owner was touched enough to pass on the compliment to the staff, the staff in-turn told my client, and he then told me.  And I had tears in my eyes as he was telling me.  And now I’m spreading the kindness to you!

The world can sometimes feel scary and out of control, yet stories like this remind us there is goodness in the world, and we can be the creators of that goodness.  

I wonder how YOU will create a little kindness today?  

I would love to hear some of the kindnesses you see and/or create in the world.  You can email me at Hello@EveryDayLove.me

Love,

P.S. The graphic is from my favorite daily mental health calendar, created by Kate Allen. 

Hello,

I think kindness is one of the most powerful forces in the universe.  It multiplies in magical ways.

I was recently telling a client about a study which found that the two biggest factors in client success in therapy are: 

• the therapist’s kindness toward themselves, and
• the therapist’s willingness to be wrong. 

At first, I was stunned by that—it wasn’t anything about clients that determined success, it was therapist’s kindness and openness (and I would wager, self-compassion) that contributed to positive outcomes in therapy. 

Then I realized it made complete sense.  When we are kind to ourselves, we naturally pass kindness on to others.

After I told my client this finding, he shared a story…

He was at his favorite restaurant, sitting at his usual space at the bar, so he can connect with the staff as they pick up orders.  He had recently lost his wife, and the staff had gone out of their way to show kindness and caring. 

That day he heard the staff saying the owner was in the restaurant.  He asked where the owner was sitting, then walked up to the owner and told him just how special the staff at the restaurant were. 

That’s nice in and of itself.  Right?

The magical part is ALL the people that were touched by that kindness.  He was nurtured by the staff’s kindness and he wanted the owner to know, the owner was touched enough to pass on the compliment to the staff, the staff in-turn told my client, and he then told me.  And I had tears in my eyes as he was telling me.  And now I’m spreading the kindness to you!

The world can sometimes feel scary and out of control, yet stories like this remind us there is goodness in the world, and we can be the creators of that goodness.  

I wonder how YOU will create a little kindness today?  

I would love to hear some of the kindnesses you see and/or create in the world.  You can email me at Hello@EveryDayLove.me

Love,

P.S. The graphic is from my favorite daily mental health calendar, created by Kate Allen.